Perpetually Walking On a Slowly Spinning Plate

The Videos

The Cultural Backdrop

I'll polish this up in July

Imagine a kitkat advert where someone is doing some mundane job like scanning food at the checkout in a supermarket, then unlike the advert above, the whole background disappears as it slides to the left, to then have a new background slide in from the right, moving towards the left, of some scenic park with its greenery.

Also the seat the staff is sat on, has magically changed to be a park bench that several people can sit on.

After the person has ate the kitkat, the background slides back to how it was in the supermarket.

That’s scenario one.

The Overall Point

Now for scenario two.

Imagine that when you’re walking down the street or even doing anything else like inside, you’re standing on a SLOWLY spinning plate, much like how in fancy restaurants, how food will be shown on plates that are spinning around.
If you’re walking down the road, the plate is spinning.
If you’re waiting for the train at its designated time, the plate is spinning.

Pretty normal, right? But if the train is diverted to then have the announcment on the speaker say to move to another train, to then have a crowd rushing towards it, as twice the people are going to it. Then you’ll want to be really quick to make sure the train doors don’t shut once they’ve run out of seats.
Well the plate you’re standing on that’s spinning, it would spin a tiny bit faster, as there is slightly more stress or anxiety in that situation, even if it’s mild.
But what if something reasonably bad does happen, like being late to an appointment or having an argument, then the plate would spin even more within one minute, at an even faster rate.
More stress and anxiety = faster spinning plate

But when observing everyone else, they feel more grounded and level-headed in their general disposition. Even though you’re not exactly mentally unstable, volatile or haywire, there is still a sense of being melodramatic, solemn and twitchy. Agitated is the wrong word.

But hey, if there’s a solar eclipse in the sky that lets you look at the moon without hurting your eyes, then you can focus on that for 30 minutes and within that intermittent period, you’ll forget all about the spinning plate underneath your feet that’s slowly spinning around, until that event is over, as that event doesn’t come along every day, more like once in a blue moon. But if it happened weekly, then you’d of still noticed it even then to not forget about it.

So less about the kitkat advert where the new scenery slides in from right to left in an intermittent manner to have some person sat on a park bench with a scenic part while eating a kitkat and more so about instead always having a slowly spinning plate that you’re standing on that only spins faster if there’s some sense of stressor or hindering challenge, that you just can’t seem to get off to reach a stable flat earthy ground, like everyone else can.

Eventually you might start thinking that if it’s 10pm at night and it’s pitch black, in the same way that stepping in a puddle will alter the shape, movement and depth of the puddle, that make you can alter the shape of the car headlights walking towards you, if you walk in a different way, as the outside world seems to have such a relatively more stressful effect on you in a very permeable, pliable and impressionable way, like comparing lycra being stretchy to cotton being not.

For lack of a better term, I would say that I’m hyper-chromal

I have a slight variation of mood for every

  • Place
  • Person
  • Activity
  • Time

If I was in school and I sat at the table by my friend, to then move to the other table at the other side of my room, to sit by a different friend, I would have a different emotion within a space of 5-10 seconds. The same applies for if I was on the university campus and I walked from one university building within another, within a 2-5 metre radius of each other.

  • I’m not sensitive but I am melodramatic
  • I’m not bubbly but I am outgoing
  • I’m not introverted but I am very laid back
  • I’m not slurred but I am a slothenly speaker
  • I’m not haywire but I am spontaneous

I can just sense the atmosphere change when someone enters or leaves the room, even if I’ve been in the room for hours – no words needed.

World Exclusive From My Diary

When I was being overmedicated by mental health services, now knowing that mental health psychiatry is a scam as psychiatrists like to overmedicate people for profit, I then knew that the longer you are on antipsychotics, the slower you have to be weaned off them, because the harder the fall, the harder the crash.

Update: I now know that it was discrimination based on an intrinsic characteristic I have, so it wasn’t financially motivated but instead direct discrimination. More about that in this blog article.

As I was being overmedicated, I developed a viral infection so I was taking Lemsip and Covonia. Weird things were happening on the PlayTube app and Youtube video suggestions. I was sick of being watched all the time, so I decided to walk all the way to Dad’s and he wasn’t in the house when I rang the doorbell. I don’t know where he was. I saw and heard a car, unless I hallucinated it, and it had my sister and her boyfriend in it driving to the city centre but in a different car than her orange one.

As Dad wasn’t at home, I decided to walk back home. After that, a few days later I walked to the city centre for a walk to get rid of the tracking.

I hallucinated everyone walking away from me including the cars. I was thinking of the idea of supersymetry so if I made little movements with my tongue and my legs extra than I normally would do, then that would make the cars move further away from me. I imagined that I was moving through a wormhole, as I saw the memories of times passed. I would walk from one area to an area nearby, and it was like I had teleported to two spaces. It was like walking to a forest then going to the city 20 seconds later then a school the next. I was looking at the memories of my 26 years of life.

When I got to the city, I hallucinated everyone walking away from me. I would ask questions like “Why are you walking away from me? Do you pay taxes? Do you speak english? Do you give to the homeless? Where are you going? It’s rude for everyone to be walking away from me all at once.” I would ask people to hold out their hand after asking them “Do you want a nice day or a nice life?” Some people would walk away, some people would say a nice life and touch my hand, and the evil demonic people would just lie and walk away.

I then got home and that was the end of my psychotic episode. But before I got home, I was was walking around in circles not knowing where to go, until I eventually went home.

After that psychotic episode, which was a good trip, I then got my creativity back.

17/09/18 Age 28

Indicative Photos

It should go without saying, that ALL my music is travelling music!

What can I say? I’ve always been a melancholy and subdued person!

me, tynamite

Twilight: Most of the time

Sunlight: Fleeting (lunar-like enthralled)

Where would my Steel Crate album be played? (intrinsically I’m more downtempo than this fanservice album)

Cable-carting on the ground to the Tate Modern adjacent the crystalline museum – on a good day

Some guy who was talking about bipolar disorder, who doesn’t have it, was wondering whether any such highs from hypomania, was like taking drugs, as he’s a proper psychonaut who takes LSD and estacy. I disagreed. I put it this way. Imagine that you’re 6 and your mother after collecting you from school, takes you to the shopping centre. Exciting isn’t it? But as you get older, time passes faster, as your collective experiences becomes smaller. So imagine that you have to go to the gift shop in a faraway museum, to get the same experience at age 16, than you would have at age 6? Now what if instead of going to your local museum that displays the same ornaments for every month and week of the year for several years, you then go to the Tate Modern museum in London, that is always changing their exhbitions and ornaments around?

Now that would be exciting each time, wouldn’t it? But even so, it’s not like some trap song like Metro Boomin, Mike Will Made it, Juicy J, Future. Not in the slightest! It’s more like being awake at 7am on an empty street while you see everyone going to school or work, while you’re just there in McDonalds for your breakfast just checking out the architecture of the interior design that they got inspired by Japan for with the tilted and thatched roof. They watch the rush hour and neighbourhood planning but I watch the home decor and interior design. Now let me drink my coffee in peace while I read the free newspaper found besides me, The Metro. I can see the heat swirls of boiling water coming up from my cup. Can they see the pre-hissing Lucozade bottle, before they open it after it was shaken or dropped on the floor beforehand

I absolutely love scenery where you can be as much of the focal point and as part of the wallpaper, as you want to be, within a momentary side-step

Someone get me a thesaurus

Melancholy but don’t get it twisted!

Melancholy but we’re not pensive, we’re meandering.

tynamite
correctfalse
SubduedPensive
SullenCinema verté
DischordantCrystalline
Jarringbirds eye view or scoping up-top
Definitely melancholy
But you already knew that, right?
Definitely not ghastly
what are you blind?

But what does it sound like?

I suppose you’ll have to finish my second album – the drone album. I’m working on it now.

Also I’ll post a drone mix from my mixcloud account here soon. New mixes in March or April.

I think this is the closest thing I can find but it’s not quite it. Just wait for my second album later this 2024. My style is just different!

Volor Flex - Golgotha and Home
Thom Yorke – Piano Sketch
The Dybbuk Quartet - Vilna
The Dybbuk Quartet - Perspicacity in the Fading Light
Thom Yorke - Cymbal Rush (The Field Late Night Essen Und Trinken Remix)
Ryan Davis / Microtrauma - Calendula (Ryan Davis Redesign) Traum CDDig 40

Related Articles

PS. Mild depression is sometimes called chronic depression, in a clinical context but for normal everyday people on the street, you’d better say mild.

What I wanted to show you before March

Todo: Februrary 2024

The related articles I intended to show is coming soon but I have around 30+ blog articles to get published in March. I’m still on that clear the air and FAQ thing, from either being asked the same questions again and again or having to explain the same things over and over again – never mind my own stuff in the absence of trying to explain to five different people outside instant messenger.

I think that I have a talent at writing but most of all my strongest point would be being versatile and conveying emotion in writing including within fiction (or creative writing). So with that said, you’ll have to wait for this series to be done. I’m on about this series, Inchoate Inscribe.