My Life as a 6/10 Male

I’ve watched the videos so you don’t have to

I'll polish this up in August

I’ve been asked some questions anonymously on my Tellonym account, such as

  • in which situation do u feel especially beautiful?
  • what is it like to be so beautiful?
  • what is it like to be so attractive?
  • what is it like to be as attractive as u
  • do u mind uploading a selfie

Sorry to use liberal terminology but I decided to educate myself by watching all of the videos below about Pretty Privilege, so I could see from women’s perspective, what women experience that attractive men never will. Pretty privilege is purely and predominately only a female phonomenon.

Common sense would dictate to me (which I routinely lack), ahem, deductive reasoning, would dictate to me, that if I keep getting asked the same questions again and again, over and over again that it definitely deserves a blog article, as maybe I’m under-estimating or over-estimating what everyone knows or my shortfall of knowledge. In fact a lot of these blog articles, came from me being repeatedly asked the same questions again and again, over and over again, or having to explain the same refutals or points, both in real life and online.

Useful videos (well not all of them really)

Not related (unless I accidentally sorted a video in the wrong place)

Foreign language

Let’s be objectively honest about where I stand on the relational hierarchy

To keep it short, if there is the 1-10 scale, then I would be a 6.

It cannot be denied, that the majority of beta males, are definitely more attractive than me.

5 is for people who are just plain, like Mark Zuckerberg or Ed Sheeran, they are not exactly ugly but they just look plain, like in those black and white movies where they’d use plain looking people, as it made it easier to shoot movies with their antiquated and low-tech analogue films and camcorders. When filming became in colour, they could use more attractive women (and men) to film.

If the alpha male is 8-10, then plain is 5. Then I would be a 6, as most men, beta males anyway, are more attractive than me.

Some people believe that alpha males should be 7-10 but I’d put it at 8-10

People can cheerfully say that they like looking at acid washed jeans or acid washed ripped jeans all day. But do you ever see anyone wearing them???

People can cheerfully say that they like looking at acid washed jeans or acid washed ripped jeans all day.

But do you ever see anyone wearing them???

tynamite

The handful of opportunities is the luck of the draw – that’s only if the room will have it, before the ship has sailed

Nothing is a given, it’s just luck if you happen to be in the right room. And for that it’s just a measly handful

If you’re in a room and you can’t make any friends, the problem isn’t everyone else, it’s that you’re in the wrong room.

When other people point out your flaws, if they’re going to complain if you do whatever they asked you to and then complain anyway if you do the opposite, then the real problem probably isn’t to do with anything they’ve got to say and they just didn’t like you anyway.

You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. You can’t win either way. Catch 22.

So you’re better off leaving the room to go somewhere else.

What about what room and for what ship sailing?

As a male, refer to the below table.

time markermoving from floating suitor to candidate suitor (or failure)getting to know someone better
First4 days2 weeks
Second4 weeks2 months
Third4 months2 years

Obviously there has to be a personality component to it all. And with that, behaviour, speech and most of all, the attitude. Something can be good in principle and theory but be expressed with a problematic attitude. Often such bad attitudes can be hard to articulate how they exactly are so, in words.

You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression

unknown

Once you’ve gone over the upper bound of how many blunders or mea culpa you’re allowed to have in this error buffer, the conversation simply cannot be redeemed. It’s as good as dead from hereon, if you screw up too many times, unless you do something outrageously dumb once that’s so wildly off-key it’s gone off-colour and untoward.

Here’s some various Distribution Models to describe privilege (to explain why Pretty Privilege evades men)

Being handed something on a plate

Imagine someone who’s just handed something on a plate. It’s just given to them merely for them existing. For some types of privilege regarding race/age/disability/gender, it’s just like that. Well that’s not something that I experience. Disability is a weird one as there is cognitive, developmental, chronic and mobility, if we had to classify it into four main types.

But even so, Everyday Feminism has an article on their website about “able bodied privilege” when I never see people in wheelchairs when I walk outside but I see coloured people, religious minorities, women and old people all the time. So are we talking about what is commonplace or an anomoly?

Using a hall pass to sit at a dining table

Imagine that there’s some sports club, games club or whatever lunchtime club that allows a person to go to lunch 30 minutes or 1 hour early. Well imagine for some people it’s like this.

  • Use the hall pass
  • Enter the canteen
  • Sit at the any table (mission accomplished)

Now imagine for some people it’s like this

  • Use the hall pass
  • Enter the canteen
  • Choose the correct table (if you choose the wrong one, you’re screwed)

Obviously the first example for a person, would make them more privileged than the second.

Invisible hand theory and running shoes

Imagine that people are on a racing track

  • Undet the Invisible Hand Theory, a person would be pushed along for every step they make, so on 100 metres race, they could only run 50 metres if the invisible hand pushes them an extra step for every step they make.

Wearing wellingtons or a hazmat suit, whether the other person knows it or not

Imagine a person who walks around on the muddy grass with wellingtons, who wonders why they can’t walk around in shoes or sandals, like the other person can. But what if that person isn’t wearing that but something worse, like a hazmat suit like when a murder happens and forensics has to be taken. I mean, cleaning up all the mess once all the drama has happened and everyone has left the scene.

Being given leniency for either a mea culpa, reckless behaviour, miscreant behaviour or abrasive/coarse/terse behaviour

Now which of that, would (attractive or barely passable) men ever experience?

Let’s run through those privileges from my perspective, using the above diagram.

  • Being handed something on a plate: That would never happen to me
  • Being able to sit at any table then mission accomplished: That would never happen ton me. And even if I sat at the right table, there’s still loads of work to do on my end, the initator, that evades the woman
  • Invisible Hand Theory: That would never happen to me
  • Special running shoes theory: That would never happen to me where me changing my shoes gives me an extra win in a 100 metre race
  • Being given lieniency for a mea culpa, rudeness or a workplace blunder: That would never happen to me. In fact I’d be treated even worse as it’s like Justin Bieber telling Aphex Twin “I sell billions of albums and your albums don’t make any money” so it’s like I’m rubbing my superiority and social status in their face. Also the two-faced people and haters would jump on it and clobber me with a beating stick (that I gave them) as now they have an excuse they can use as ammunition, for what they wanted to do from Day One.
  • Being able to pick up an estranged boomerang for five seconds without being accosted: That would never happen to me, I’d be treated as suspicious from the first second, even if it was completely obvious for what I was doing.

A female 6 can cast a wider net with a higher quality catch, than a male 6 and ugly women can still get laid as women can’t be incel

No matter what Tomica Marcotte says, her “social constructionist” views on gender, regarding who sets the standards, is wrong

What’s the difference between a Tomica World train and a Hornby train? Even though Tomica is more technically advanced, it can only move in one direction

tynamite

I’m sorry but gender is not a social construct!

For women, aesthestic attraction and sexual attraction are both distinct

Again like my analogy above, earlier on in the article, says….

People can cheerfully say that they like looking at acid washed jeans or acid washed ripped jeans all day.

But do you ever see anyone wearing them???

tynamite

When women say….that men care only about appearance

  1. Women say that men care only about women’s appearance (regarding dating)
  2. Men say that women have higher standards when it comes to appearance.
  3. Women rebuff the opposing side’s refutal, by saying that even if that’s true, men are more visually orientated

It’s women who set the personality and behavioural standards, frustratingly retroactively, then it’s men who must adapt to meet the new standards

A woman cannot merely look at a man then instantly want to have sex with him, only men can. For women, personality matters as well.

The only men who say it’s 100% looks are….

The only people who say that, are either

  1. People like Tom Cruz who just “said hello” and just Tom Cruz’d it
  2. People who live in a tight knit community where everyone knows each other like the amish or welsh village
  3. People with feral decency (not common decency) who act like they’ve been home schooled their whole life like feral animals (despite 12-14 years of mandatory public schooling), who play video games for escapism like World of Warcraft and smoke weed (most likely social outcasts in more ways than one)
  4. Incels who believe it’s 100% looks and 0% personality for the majority of men
  5. Famous people

We’re just bobbling away at the seabed on the landscape. Luckily not underwater, but not with the drawn-out seaside congregation either.

It’s like asking which of the neutrons, electrons and protons in an atom don’t reside within the nucleus – deep down you know subconsciously but it’s too bobbling away, to be drawn out.

Men including myself are just bobbling away at the seabed here. Nothing’s being fished out from afar or shiny sparkling from afar – including within the absence of dating. If it reaches the sandy shore then it does but don’t hold your breath. I ain’t betting my life savings on it but I ain’t writing it off either!

How does one reconcile the fact that women complain about the objectification of women, with the fact that pretty privilege only benefits women?

So do women really benefit or not? And if not, well eradicating objectification wouldn’t harmonise the privilege and oppression amongst women, only make all women collectively worse off.

I keep getting asked questions anonymously on my Tellonym account about objectification of women, surprisingly so, they’re asking for a man’s opinion on it, which I find contrastingly weird, as feminism seems to conflate lived experience as sacrosanct for a deferred authority, so I thought they didn’t want men’s opinions on such things. Well anyway, I’ll need to update this once I’ve written the article about my opinion on it.

However the man would still reluctantly have the hamzat suit

  • However I STILL have the role of………….wearing the HAMZAT SUIT the day after once everything’s said and done, to clear up all the mess

The perils of lacking conventional beauty traits. Zilch!

The problem with my appearance, is that I lack the conventional traits of beauty, which is present highly in “contracted models” or lowly in “girl/guy next door” types

Things like

  • Symmetrical face
  • Large eyes, not medium of small
  • Clear complexion with no spots of blemishes
  • Perfectly straight teeth
  • Golden ratio
  • The spoon test (look into the curved outwardly sticking out side of a spoon and if you look good, then you pass the spoon test)
  • Soft eyelids
  • Zero dark patches under the eyes

I have ZERO conventional traits of beauty. I’m not even some guy/girl next door type who is considered attractive enough to appear on tv shows as an actor or tv presenter (as lots of models can’t act as we have to compromise) but not enough for a model.

Now there’s some women (and men) who are attractive but because they lack the conventional beauty standard type metrics, they get downgraded down to 6-7 on the 1-10 scale. I think it’s just how society works, how the cultural tastes work. It’s like me trying to play techno in the UK and house music in germany, they just wouldn’t like it, I’d have to swap it round.

In my opinion, generally speaking, I don’t think it’s possible to be anywhere on the 8-10 rating, unless you have SOME level of those conventional beauty traits, indicative of professional models in print and billboards.

Now can a person be attractive with zero conventional features of beauty, that’s present in professional models who sign 12/18/24 month contracts (not instagram models)? Sure! But will they be treated by society in the same way as those that do? No. It’s the same thing as saying that a black person can be attractive in a white country but they won’t be considered as attractive as white people (I’m from the UK), in a country with anglocentric beauty standards.

Those black girls in school who didn’t want my number, which was MOST of them, who would they find attractive and give their number to, based on looks alone? Definitely not me!

Let’s use photos of other people as an example

  1. Tinchy Stryder
  2. Lil Choppa
  3. Young Speckz
  4. Usher
  5. Omarion
  6. Dirty Danger
  7. Prince Rapid

I can honestly say that I don’t look as good as they do

Photos of me, the good ones of minority flukes

Unfortunately I’m not photogenic and most of my photos come out bad

We have to go more granular under the alpha and beta male dichotomy, as women under-estimate the frequency and workload of beta males

It should go without saying but unfortunately I have to keep on saying these basic facts

  • Women have a dual mating strategy.
  • Women over-estimate the amount of social performance they did (as a woman) whilst under-estimating the amount of social performance a man did (in his entire life), which is why women give bad dating advice (to men).
  • Women are often under-signalling (or under-pitching) what they want, where they either want something completely different or in greater quantity, than what they said they wanted.

Although the alpha male and beta male can be a good dichotomy, if can often be a false dichotomy in instances where you need to be more granular. I would say I’m at the 4th strata.

  1. Able to get women’s phone numbers on the street (illegal in France and de facto quasi-illegal in the UK nowadays due to Hollaback and Collective Shout)
  2. Able to get matches and dates from online dating websites
  3. Able to get laid in open-air environments, that anyone can freely enter or leave
  4. Able to get laid in closed-box environments, that have restrictions or scarcity of knowledge, so people cannot or probably wouldn’t freely enter or leave
  5. Able to get laid in tight knit communities where everyone knows each other, like some Welsh village

Let’s put it this way….

My analytical lens can be explained in one sentence.

How can gender be a social construct, if the EXACT same people who say that, are contradicting themselves, by doing the complete opposite of what they claim to be interested in?

Women always claim they want a certain type of man, then they go and start dating the complete opposite. Don’t watch what women say, watch what women do

Social construct breaks down when those same EXACT people start contradicting themselves

The only times I’ve been successful with women, is within a gated community or being vetted by someone playing cupid or matchmaker

In hindsight, looking back and when I was 16-18, I think the only reason why I ever was popular with the girls at that time in Sixth Form, was because one of my acquaintance’s friends, or a friend of someone I knew from a previous school, was “playing cupid”. She was dropping hints but it was done in a way, that she didn’t want me to notice until after I’d left that school.

On my first day of Sixth Form, I saw a girl who I recognised from a previous school I’d went to. She was in the same class as me. She called me over, while she was standing with her friends chatting, and she told me that “you can hang with us“. I knew exactly what she meant by that, not that she really wanted to be my friend but instead that I would be allowed to sit around her friends, so I could boost my reputation by LOOKING more popular.

What’s the number 1 method of making friends? From association. Because your friend knows someone else, you become friends with them because that new person is associated with them. This works in your favour as you already have “social proof” so you’ve already been vetted or pre-selected.

My opinion, in hindsight, looking back, is that the girl who called me over, who found me extremely annoying and hated my personality, that it was her friend, who was “playing cupid”, to set me up or play matchmaker with some other girls. She dropped them a few nice words about me, and they trusted her, that I was exactly like what she said I was, and that I was cool, fun and interesting.

But the girl who played matchmaker, she dropped hints several times in such an implicit way, that she only wanted me to figure it out years after the fact, years after the course and my time at Sixth Form was over.

So yeah, definitely my personality and social skills. My acquaintance’s friend, was playing cupid or matchmaker, behind my back, while the acquaintance who I remembered from the previous school, would never be friends with me as she found my personality highly annoying, except that she let me hang around her to gain “social proof”.

Her friend managed to get a very good idea, after just 2 months, of what my personality and social skills is like. So she just dropped in a good word for me.

In hindsight, beyond playing matchmaker, I also think that if I wasn’t seen hanging around them, I wouldn’t of made much friends in the first place, either.

Not her friendship group, an entirely different friendship group, that had zero overlap and none of the existing friends. None of them, were friends with anyone from the other friendship group.

The same type of thing happened again, when I was at university when I managed to get invited into certain events at university. I won’t mention exactly how I got invited into them but that definitely happened!

The same type of thing happened again, at age 24-28 but I can’t exactly type it on the internet in a full-frontal manner, as there are some malicious people who are cyberstalking and inference mining, in order to try to infiltrate the same places I’m at, so I don’t need you to be going where I’m going, as not everyone who asks me questions anonymously has good intentions to be asking in good faith.

But….but….but….there has to be something you benefit from appearance wise, isn’t there?

For all you women complaining that men online only want to e-date or ask for nudes, try this! Change your gender to male and count how many friends you make online. No don’t count how much harassment, trolling and sexual harassment you get. Count how many friends you get. I tried it on Experience Project and Similar Worlds. I changed my gender from male to female and I NEVER got ghosted, whether I messaged them first or vice versa, whether they were male or female.

These things ONLY happen to women. Most men, don’t experience those things, even if they are attractive. There are some things that I experience though.

  • The Halo Effect
  • The Cheerleader Effect or Girlband Effect (other men use me to convey value onto them as if I’m some trophy because I look young and being around younger people makes me look younger, especially in nightclubs, more girls ask them do dance with them after being around me)
  • People chiming into your conversations (from elsewhere in the room)
  • The tail-end of an existing conversation or intermittent greeting, being much longer than expected
  • I look young. Can you believe that I got asked for ID at Tesco to buy energy drinks (ie. Red Bull) at age 32? Also when I was 26 I paid for a child’s ticket at the cinema by lying about being 15. I wouldn’t try it at 27 as the aging process made the bone structure in my face have slightly thinning bones. If other people don’t notice, I definitely noticed!

But it’s nothing to write a postcard home about or fetch a boomerang (without being accosted) about.

And also, am I going to be cashing in my chips on this, as I’m not betting my life savings on it or even holding my breath.

You tell me, when and where it’s supposed to occur, of me “cashing in my casino chips”, as it definitely hasn’t?

People want to ask me, if it’s better to be attractive or intelligent….


I’m sorry but if you ain’t got money backing your intelligence, you can’t do anything with it.

So it’s better to be poor and attractive, than poor and intelligent.

tynamite

Even so, even if someone else is going to call ME attractive, it definitely doesn’t feel that way. When am I going to cash in these casino chips? Because every time I’ve ever been successful with women, it’s always been due to my personality, as the majority of beta males (of which I’m also), most of them were more attractive than me.

The only people who are cashing in their chips, as far as pretty privilege is concerned, even if you’re a 4/10 or 5/10, is not men, it’s women, including outside dating and commerce.

The eternal who is more privileged argument

For men, masculinity is earnt but femininity for women, it is a birthright (even if the woman isn’t attractive)

Men are disposable

Men’s opinions and comments only have value in society and amongst their peers, if they have something to provide

Am I still privileged if I’m poor?

When I was sectioned (detained) under the mental health act at age 18, I was the victim of discrimination under a cartel (the doctors and psychiatrists) who financially blacklisted me from jobs and I only found out at age 26. That’s after recovering from health issues that they caused by over-medicating me (discrimination again) with them threatening to call the police if I refuse to take the antipsychotics. Years later I called their bluff and refused anyway and they were bluffing all along. That discrimination and cartel stuff is another story for another time!

If only I’d of known back then, what I know now! But really though, there’s no way I could of known.

Google Search, Google Scholar, Amazon Books, Research Gate, Reddit, family, friends and forums wouldn’t of had the answers either!

everyone who reaches their mid 20’s

If I’d of known what I found out at 26 back then at 18, then instead of applying to jobs from job websites like CV Library or Reed (which go directly to employment agencies), I could of instead gone to the various employment agencies proper website, to avoid the crossed-off employment agencies. Also I could of found some good work at home jobs doing remote work, which I currently do, as the 2 agencies I work for, right now, crowdsourcing agencies, are both american.

Luckily I have a good job now, especially as the UK has mass unemployment. It’s not any different to what everyone else goes through, it’s right up your street, way beyond commonplace. It’s more like nearer than the closet traffic light and lampost.

I need to explain to foreigners and (aspiring) immigrants the mass unemployment situation here, as they are under the false impression that the streets here are paved with gold, when actually it’s very hard to get jobs here nowadays. We live in the lost generation, us millenials (and now zoomers) did everything our parents, school and government told us to do, to have worse prospects than our parents, with mass unemployment, 100 people applying for every job in Birmingham in 2018, 500 in London.

Why are we worse off than our parents?

My personality and autistic solipsism (problems reading people) would also cause problems when dating

I don’t see the connection, as to do rubbish courses, is a false cause, as they’ll be no viable career option or maybe not anything useful at the end of it.

See the related articles mentioned at the bottom of this article. Well I mean this one about people who have a more collectivist “kitchen table” approach to relationships.

fill this in later

Preposition being presumably a pre-emptive occurence

  1. People are often under-signalling what they want. People will often claim they want something, whilst actually wanting more than what they said they want.
  2. Sometimes people want and prefer the frilly mystique about something, rather than it based on its own merits.
  3. Sometimes people often interpret, when someone else speaks, that a preposition is presumably also a pre-emptive occurrence, falsely or not.

Conclusion

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