80% of the world’s population are full of shit. It’s not an exaggeration. It’s a fact. It truly is. You might think that everyone you see is nice, funkydory and pally, but when you’re an adult and get older, you realise that it really is the case.
Most people do not want to have conversations. This is not an exaggeration. It is a fact. It might look like people do, as they try to be socialable, start smiling and act pally, but when you get down the nitty gritty, you’ll find that most people don’t. It’s not like school. I’ll explain five reasons for this.
When you are an adult, you learn that how people present themselves to people is not how they are. A person can say they are friendly when they are not. A person can say they are a good listener when they are not. A person can say that they are willing to listen to anyone when they are not. As an adult, you have to learn to become a good judge of character, so you can tell whether someone is mis-representing themselves or not. It’s not like school where everyone is funkydory and pally in the playground.
Do people mis-represent themselves on purpose? I don’t know. I think it’s a bit of both, but I don’t know what the percentage is. I’d like to think that some of these people lack self awareness. Everyone wants to be original. Everyone wants to the top don. Everyone wants to be unique. Everyone wants to be interesting. The sad fact is that some people are not these things.
Lots of people who you meet in real life, will only want to talk to you for the social benefits. These social benefits are as follows.
Because they are bored and having nothing better to do
They want access to your social circle
The people who want access to your social circle are lily pad jumpers who will make friends with people outside your friendship group due to association. Because they are associated with you, they’ll be able to make friends with other people. Because you’re associated with other people, they will be able to make friends with the people you’re associated with. Once these people have gained a new friendship group that is not yours, they will not talk to you or your friendship group ever again. This isn’t a bad thing. You’ve done the same thing. I’m sure you were in a social environment where you didn’t know anyone so you became someone’s friend who you didn’t want to be their friend.
Most people do not want to talk about how they feel, their life, what happened in their day, their friends and family, their interests, the world and society. They really don’t. Most people just want to talk to someone who makes them feel better about themselves. What they want is someone to make them feel better about themselves (subservient to them), someone who worships the ground they walk on, someone impressionable and pliable and someone they can manipulate. They just want validation really. They have an ego they are looking for someone to feed, or they have an inverted ego and gain happiness by helping others, being useful to them and telling them how great they are.
Some people are very selfish beings, despite how kind, friendly and altruistic they appear to be – even if you’ve been speaking to them for months and they told you personal information about themselves. They view relationships as transactional, so if you do something nice to them, they do something nice to you, and if they do something nice to you, they expect you to do something nice to them. It’s like shopping in Poundland. For each pound you give the checkout assistant, they allow you to have one item in the shop for every pound you give them.
They don’t do nice things because it’s the right thing to do, they do it because they want something in return. They are so intellectually immature, deluded about the world and naive, that they do not even realise that they want something in return when they want something in return. These people lack self awareness too, so they are not aware of what they do when they are doing it.
It is hard to identify these people because they do not directly ask for what they want directly or forthright. You could be doing exactly what they want you to do and you wouldn’t even know it.
These people are not necessarily bad or people you can’t trust, you could trust them with confidential information that could ruin your life if exposed (well maybe not your passwords). Just enjoy the relationship for what it is, don’t take life too seriously, allow yourself to be emotionally involved, but don’t get oneitis and always be on the prowl for new people to talk to people and befriend. Don’t define your life by one person.
I have figured out a way to spot transactional people as they are hard to detect as they are manipulative. PM me if you have reputation and you want me to give it to you.
Stupidity transcends all countries, ages, races, intelligence and skills. There is no limit to stupidity. Even intelligent people do stupid things. What happens in life is that people have delusions. They have beliefs they think are true yet make absolutely no sense. If you try to teach them that their beliefs are wrong and why, using logic, they will be met with two contrasting beliefs which contradict each other, and given that the new one is true and the old one is false yet it makes them feel better about themselves, they be in a dither of which one to pick. It’s called cognitive dissonance. Here is an example of cognitive dissonance.
Lots of people you come across in life through observation and your interactions, will have self serving beliefs. They have beliefs that solely exist to make them feel better about themselves. Often, deep down they know that their beliefs are untrue, but they believe them anyway because the prospect of realising they were wrong, is too painful to deal with. When you spot people with self serving beliefs that are delusions, you must expose them whenever you can, as long as you’re being respectful and tactful. Don’t use your intelligence or smartness to reduce someone’s self esteem or make them feel that you are better than them.
So what does this have to do with people not wanting to have real conversations? Well some people you talk to will say that they care about you and give lots of examples of kind stuff they did to you, but when you talk to them about the real things, they will not listen to you. And they will not listen to you when you tell them that they’re not listening – and they won’t try to listen as well. These people have a personality disorder (not necessarily a bad thing) because they cannot differentiate between self and others properly, so thus are damaged people, and they are losers. Find new people to talk to and be friends with, until you become like Drake and DJ Khaled and say no new friends.
Here are four maxims for you.
- Don’t define your life by one person.
- Never stop trying to meet new people and build relationships with them.
- Be ready to move onto the next people when you feel you can’t trust them, but not some people, as some people you can’t trust you need in your life.
- Allow yourself to get emotionally involved, but just don’t set yourself up to fail