All My Relationships End For The Same Mysterious Reason, After Two Years

WIP 25/11/23
This article is a work in progress
7003 words on saturday is enough for one day

I’ll finish it in january

I can’t believe americanised reddit was more helpful than or

I'll polish this up in August

I don’t have the time to find the relevant reddit thread by a woman who experienced a similar situation but considering how reddit is a censorship website and how I can’t edit answers on tellonym, I think I won’t post the source here unless they scrub it to hide the phenomenon, as someone might find the comments to be ablelist or perpetuating harmful stereotypes. Is it possible to have any conversation about dating without making any stereotypical or prejudicial language? Should men treat women like they treat their mothers? Well I can be sure to ring them to make sure I got home safe.

It would take me hours to find the thread so I think I’ll save quoting (or even linking) the thread until my blog article is online.
I mean this one.

I replied to the woman who made the thread (the OP) “A relationship should be about how you feel about them and what they do for you, not what they feel about you and what you do for them.” Obviously all four things are important but if you pause to think about the metaphorical meaning of the sentence, you’ll see what I was trying to say. The woman was complaining about her boyfriend making offhand comments that he would just spontaneously say as an outlandish quip. The woman interpreted this as the man lacking empathy or something similar to that but I don’t think the word she is looking for is in the english dictionary, maybe french. Muah! It was about an aspect rather than an entity, of the concept. Her response was me was three things ….

“it means he doesn’t care as he can’t do social reciprocation, secondly that the person could be a sociopath in the worst case scenario and finally that she could not articulate what she was trying to say in words so she could only use loosely fitting and broad sweeping words. You had to contemplate to infer what she was trying to say by what she implied.”

That reminds me of when famous philosophers write books that use mistakably dictionary semantics with an innocuous wallpaper tone, when they actually mean the word in their own meaning of that word, in a way that would not be obvious to anyone having a quick glance if a person read a counselling or electrical engineering book.

I was going to keep that in mind for future reference, for any future breadcrumbs of a clue.

I was hopeful that as I grew older to get wisdom derived from life experience, that I would get close to figuring this out. Even if I’d lost contact with the people who were forlorn, there would be enough signs there to triangulate everything together, to figure something out. Well as I’m a cynical person, I didn’t put my hopes up and I never thought it would happen. It was more like wishful thinking, rather than hopeful thinking. Any proactive effort to remember the particularly important details, was due to wishful thinking and being an opportunist. Nothing ventured nothing gained!


I have a burning issue with you but I cannot explain it but it’s your fault and you’re in the wrong

I can’t remember exactly how the conversation went and what each specific point raised was, as this happened 5 years ago. But the general point is there. The argument and counter argument happens, ad infinitum, in a way that isn’t black and white, there’s shades of gray, so there’s no clear cut answer as to who is right or wrong.We both had good points and we both could successfully address the other person’s point to make a valid refutal, or at least we tried to.

Another similiar situation, after 2 years, would be when some woman accused me of “not showing interest” or whatever words she used. The specific words aren’t important, I’m paraphrasing.Now to me, I have been showing interest but that she was being guarded and I kept trying to raise the question or even be accomodative in a more adjacent or orthonagal way, if it was clear that the direct topic or concept was uncomfortable.We’re not talking about something as basic as “why didn’t you ask me how my day was?” I can’t remember what conversations we had often for hours, it was 5 years ago.

Now they have their opinion and their perspective and I have mine from my perspective. Technically speaking, in the grand scheme of things, we both have not done anything wrong or neglective, we just have a different way of viewing the world, a worldview, an analytical approach, a lens.

There was some period of “going through the motions” where we, ahem, she, was trying to make things work, ahem, see if I could behave any different with some NEW AND IMPROVED attitude, if the masses may say.

My opinion is that she was “projecting” a cookie-cutter mould onto me, expecting some perfect type of person, to then be “litmus testing” me with litmus paper, so then if I fail some obscure esoteric thing, then I’d be down-weighted but if I passed it, which I assume I never did, then I’d be up-weighted. That was a “halt the printing presses” moment for her that had her dumbstruck but she said that I was only said what I said some weeks or months ago, as I had predictd this confronation in advance, so I just sprinkled that in, as some sort of insurance policy to use it as a shield, to detract from all the times I haven’t done, neglected to do, or failed to do whatever in the right way, when, how and why I should have done it. To me, this did not make any sense, I could remember stuff from the first 6 months multiple times, as well as times she couldn’t remember about the intermittent balloon static-esque fleeting and ethereal thing that served no brownie point scoring purpose. I can’t remember an example but it had something to do with something that would sound genuine, heartfelt and awestruck, to some normal everyday person on the street, those random strangers. And she wants to quote something on whatsapp from months ago. How about she export the whole chat fromt the past 2 years and read it to a blind person using Microsoft Text To Speech including the voice calls, and they’ll agree with me and not her. But she can’t articulate what she wants to say in words.

At the time, I was 26 and she was 23 or 24. (or maybe 22 I can’t even remember if the age gap was 3 or 4 lol) Also she was middle class and she paid for her university course fees upfront from Day One. So she would have a level of social circle, connections and avenues, that someone like me, a working class person who was raised on benefits (welfare), would NEVER be able to have by her age, unless I got very lucky. That’s a compounding factor right there!

And anyway….
1) If a man and a woman keeps their smartphone off for 30 days, when the woman turns her phone on, it’ll be popping off with flashing lights and sounds like Las Vegas but the man’s will be hardly much.
2) If you was to look at the Top 40-60% of men and women on the dating websites, basically cutting off the top and the lower end, the women would of had more relationships when compared to the same age as the men.

Me and her both believed in soulmates but sorry to be cynical but if you haven’t found your solemate by age 21, then you’re probably not going to find them, as they’ve probably been snapped out the market by someone else, like kids racing to get the best chairs or sweets in the classroom.

So I find it amusingly ironic, that statistically speaking, if she has a woman has more choices and has the “bargaining role” to both increase the minimum standards and negotiate added freebies as a goodwill gesture on top of the standard “base cost”, that it would be her who would be accusing me of emotional neglect, as with her greater ability to choose from her lot of suitors whilst also creating (and retroactively increasing) the dating standards that men have to jump through hoops through, that in the absense of domestic abuse, that it’s her raising this issue with her, instead of her raising it with me. Especially as she’s middle class who paid for university upfront. I didn’t ever ask her how many people she dated before me, as that would be VERY judgemental but it’s common sense to predict that she would of dated more people than me, by the same age, so given as she should be more accustomed to know what the signs to look for to avoid and cherish, it should of been me, statistically speaking, to raise that domestic quarrel with her, instead of her doing so with me. But obviously I didn’t say that as it would be untactful and invalidating her feelings and VALID concerns, given this monogamous serious relationship, no matter how hilarious it would be in a comedy sitcom from its bizarre ironic juxtaposition.

Now if she’d raised those issues if she was 21 or younger, then it wouldn’t be ironic, statistically speaking. No I’m not victim blaming. Have you ever had those arguments, quarrels or lovers tiffs, with someone else, even if the raised issue has merit or validity, where you’ve thought to yourself, hang on a minute, you’re in a more privileged position or morale than me, so shouldn’t it be me asking you those questions? LMAO

By the way, the problem with someone getting married very young, is that because they didn’t have a chance to “play the field”, is that they’ll never fully know later on, if they chose the right person as they’re stuck with their shortcomings and blind spots.

The whole escapade lasted 2 years.

I thought I would remember this for future reference.

The profile picture on whatsapp faded quicker than the polaroid. I don’t think there should be a theatre play of it though, as we’d just be walking around in circles.


Pace Yourselves For The Pattern

Now for the next one!
No I don’t just walk up to the women and say hello. I can’t say I Tom Cruised it.

Now I’m older, I think that I’ve probably figured out much of what it is, that is causing the issue. You have to understand that

1) When certain things start becoming a pattern because you keep experiencing the same type weird events that most people wouldn’t have said to them, then if there’s a theme, there’s a pattern.
2) Maybe the pattern was already there somewhat before I could remember the first frame of reference but I was too young to consider it today and back then, as it wasn’t repetitive enough
3) Often people will choose to remain silent and say nothing, to be tactful, as they know that morally you haven’t really done anything wrong on the macro (or even micro) level, it’s just that different people have different values and analytical lens and that some people just naturally clash when put together
4) They might think that the whole thing is Catch 22, where you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t, so you can’t win either way. So there would be no point of raising an issue with me, if I would be criticised no matter what I do, not just the opposite but even if I went completely to another galaxy or aborted playing.
5) If a person is committing to a serious monogamous relationship, then you’re pretty much disregarding everyone else from the past and future, so you have to have higher standards than a casual relationship but as confronting someone over “lack of compatibility” or “clashing” over something that technically nobody’s done anything wrong, it can seem a bit like chastising and making someone a social pariah like some social outcast. But you wish the person well in the future and you DON’T want them to take it PERSONALLY but as they naturally will, as they’ve invested lots of time, effort and energy into it as well, just like you, why be honest about every single thing if you can do a reasonable fraction, if you don’t want them to take it personally?
6) Or whatever else, I don’t know. What do I look like a psychic here? Someone get me a thesaurus, the illustrated phonetic one.

Also for being part of the literati, I was blacklisted from jobs twice at 18 and 28 and it has absolutely nothing to do with any sociological opinions I have or words I’ve written, it’s just about a certain TYPE of demographic that is statistically more likely to discriminate against other demographics. It would of happened anyway if I was doing full colour picture books for 6 year old kids like Oxford Reading Tree, Eric Carle (who wrote the very hungry caterpillar) or Magic Spirals. But that’s another topic for another time. I have a good job though anyway so I managed to overcome that uphill battle. Well if that never happened, I probably would of learnt all these life lessons SO MANY YEARS EARLIER!!!!!

If only I knew back then what I knew now! Wisdom comes from experience but unfortunately hindsight comes the moment you need it the least. Seriously though, there is no possible way that I could of known it at the time, so I shouldn’t feel too down about it. Google Search, Google Scholar, Richard Dawkins evolutionary biology books, Amazon Books and Research Gate wouldn’t suffice.

Now to my point


Differing cadence can be an issue

Now I’m older, I think that I’ve probably figured out much of what it is, that is causing the issue.

It’s one of those sorts of things, where you have to TRIANGULATE lots of different things together from lots of different areas, that look seemingly unrelated. You have to triangulate them together to see the correlations, hence the cause of the pattern (I hope!)

So I’m thinking to myself, what sort of issues do I have when interacting with people and how could they cause conflict, no matter how small? And no I don’t mean the clinical parts like writing a bullet pointed list of strengths and weaknesses and plotting it on a star chart. I mean the more abstract things, that would cause a quarrel or lovers tiff it was some pressure cooker environment like some reality tv show where everyone’s cooped up together in a closed environment insulated from the outside world like on Big Brother.

I’ll give some examples before I lead up to the penultimate point. I’m getting to the point. Maybe it’s not the best examples but here goes!

1/4 Turn Taking

I was watching a youtube video by an autistic woman, where she said that her first date with a man went horribly wrong, as she spent a lot of time talking about herself, well mostly her accomplishments, which the man didn’t like and found an eternal bore and ignore. She said in the video how people shouldn’t feel intimidated or begrudging by the achievements or successes of another person, whether they be a woman or a man. I can agree with her point. People should be lifting people up, not bringing them down, as she said, which I agree with.

Now for an autistic person’s perspective, not her but in general, they’ll often say something like, well neurotypicals talk about themselves and their interests all the time, even when the other person has nothing in common with it. So why is it okay when they do it but not when we do it? What is it that they’re doing, that we’re not doing? What are we missing as we’ve all seen neurotypical people do it all the time for hours without a single hesitation, interruption or batting an eyelid. I can see that point as well.

Now for the neurotypical person’s perspective, the “turn taking” of the conversation has been spontaneously aborted, as unless they know something about that particular topic (which they probably don’t) or they know someone else that it’s happened to or a very similar story (which they probably don’t), then there’s no way that they can possibly continue the conversation, as there’s nothing to add to it, as to be some inquisitive procurer about it like some tv show interviewer, it would shift the conversation away, to make it less about “pass the parcel” or “pass the hot potato” into “playing superplexus marble maze games”. Maybe that’s not the best analogy but you get the point.

But then I could be observing what my brother does to think about how he managed to talk about a NICHE topic like tabletop role play games like Dungeons and Dragons, whilst keeping it interesting to the three people he hardly sees, for TWO hours. What I figured he did, is that the way he told his story, he made it so it was some sort of hollow shell or empty vessel for him to be done in such a way, that the listener could insert events from their past life in it, as the explanation was done in a very anagoulous and relatable way. I can’t comment on what other people do.

To make this example make more sense of less if you’re in that situation yourself, imagine if a person said that they want to meet famous people or that they wanted to know if I personally knew any that I could introduce them with all pally as friends or acquaintances. There is something about that, that I would very annoying and OBSTRUCTIVE towards turn taking. I just wouldn’t say anything to be tactful and also because they most likely haven’t done anything wrong.

Let’s put it this way.

Imagine if I’d just approached someone, whether online or in person to be their friend, then told them to read the “letters” page of the print/online newspaper then tell me what the fifth word of the second paragraph was, so they could prove that they were either interested, piqued in deciphering the newfound situation, or if they cared about me (for sake of example, forget the third one). They would look at me like I’m some scruffy homeless tramp who is drunk walking wobbly who can’t talk a coherent sentence.

If treating others with respect is a birthright but showing them positive regard is earned, then why would I be expecting them to show regard to me, within the first 2 or 5 minutes? Wouldn’t that be the same as a person who PUTS CELEBRITIES ON A PEDESTAL.

Here’s how I see it, to try to explain why it’s annoying, that I find hard to articulate.

1) Most celebrities are boring, they only look interesting on tv because they’ve had media training by their manager, publicist. psychotherapist, motivational speaker or psychologist
2) If you have a problem with finding people who are cool and interesting, you could also look in your city, statistically and practically speaking, as your chances are better
3) If you feel alienated or a third wheel in a social setting or avenue, then it means you’re in the wrong room. So why not chart your own path and find your own tribe? If you’re not at school or work where you’re forced to be around the same people every day, then that’s different. Stop blaming the geographic or genealogy lottery, for why you aren’t born into having celebrity parents like Kim Kardashian and instead find a new room. You’re putting yourself in a state of self-paralysis by spending more time trying to get celebrities to find you from your connections, than to find other rooms from your own accord. So this point differs from the second one, by shifting away from the most favourable probability to the most favourable advice to stop doing self-paralysis when you have the means for an equivalent set of interesting people.
4) If you keep seeing a pattern in the way you’re being treated, it’s either more a reflection of them or a reflection of you but if you’re put into a Catch 22, vendetta, subjugation or grudge, then stop blaming yourself as they would have been hostile to you no matter what you did, even if you was doing superflorous pleasantries with the most tamest opinions like Mary Poppins.
5) What if I said that I had a black AMEX card for being a millionaire and that I had a consultant investor who could put me in contact with the hottest celebrities in Hollywood? What would that say about me as a person? Does it mean I’m a good person? Kind and caring? Insulated or battle scarred? Trustworthy or precarious? So I’m supposed to value a person because they have money or Kim Kardashian’s person and that’s why I should get their name, phone number and add them to facebook? And I should also talk to them about the days gone by and the funny things that happened last week along with that funny tv show that went viral with its multitude of fansites and hashtags?

Now obviously, I wouldn’t say these things to be tactful but as I have an aversion to consumerism as it’s my anathema, I just find it very annoying and obstructive to “turn taking”, in the same way that neurotypicals do about some influencer or creator be mentioning their achievements and successes.

This might sound trivial and petty but people can and do care about those things when dating, including in friendship. Be the naysayer then do your rizz test then get ghosted! They’ll be no way to rescue the conversation, try as you may!

2/4 Social Reciprocation

Maybe I can’t think of a good example but I can point out some weird misaligned quirks

  • Imagine if someone said “I love you” or “I missed you” to then add “too” after it to then have them say it three hours later, if I already said it three hours earlier, why would I need to say it a second time with them being so insistent, if I already said it three hours ago? The insistence doesn’t make any sense as I already said it three hours ago.
  • If I’m seeing an acquaintance or stranger who is by the brown sauce condiment to then have me ask if they can pass it to me, why would they be insistent on me saying “please”, if people are supposed to do kind things for each other because it’s the right thing to do, not because they want something in return. If there was some type of relationship or personal connection or authority going on, where they’d feel I was ungrateful or inconsiderate, then that’s different because I’ve already known them for some time. But if they wouldn’t typically think that way in general or they’re a complete stranger, then why would they be insistent?
  • And besides, by changing a “common courtesy” into an “expected norm”, you end up debasing the meaning of it. In the polyamory community, contrary to common belief, it is generally accepted that the submissive person is the person who has the most power, as they have the ability to say no, so the events only happen if they want it to happen. So no, the dominant one is actually the least power, despite the dictionary definition and Hollywood movie depictions. So with that said, if I’m the least powerful and least happy for being crestfallen or melodramatic for being without my request they could easily do in a split second without any uneasiness on their part, why do I have to subjugate myself if I’m already at their mercy? That doesn’t make any sense, on top of the other part of this that doesn’t make any sense.
  • See my chocolate answer later on tellonym, about what I think about men paying on dates

3/4 Congruence

I won’t expand much on this as it’ll derail the topic and it deserves its own article in its own right. To cover it fully here, the word count would already go high enough already.

Imagine if someone is a diplomat.

I just find the diplomat type people annoying. They’re always playing devil’s advocate in conversations. They never want to “take sides” in any argument or dispute with anyone else. They always have to sugarcoat their words beyond belief, like some PR speak, that goes beyond how most people would speak, like it’s some kids tv show where everything is sugarcoated and mollycoddled

They believe in the Big Tent theory, that if you exclude all the extremists, that you can get everyone under a Big Tent They believe in the Horseshoe Theory, that both sides are more similar than they are different, and if they had discussions, they’d realise that they’re more similar than they realised.

They always try to maintain diplomatic relations with both sides, as its their diplomatic imperative to never do or say anything that would make them lose an ally, to turn an ally into an adversial or even a distant deserter.

I just find the diplomatic people so annoying, and they always try to middle ground things.

Everything has to be worded and proposed in a way, to keep diplomatic ties with 2 different parties, at all costs, 2 different parties which disagree with each other, at all costs. If there is any opinion or proposal which will cause offence, uncomfortableness, outrage or dissent by any one party, the diplomatic person (those 2 channels) will never express it and never propose it. It’s like a country that tries to keep diplomatic ties with 2 opposing countries, who thinks that it’s better to keep both countries at allies, than to have 1 remaining ally after losing 1, as the lost 1 will just change to switch to becoming an adversary.

Now think about my personality and the types of conversations that I would normally have (and start). For time’s sake, I won’t say that here. Well if someone I’m dating is always acting diplomatic, then that’s just annoying and also highly infuriating. How am I supposed to get to know them or understand how they feel within the changings of the seasons?

I would expand on this but that would derail the topic. That’s another topic for another time. Maybe another day!

Now I tend to be sassy and for lack of a better term, by some person from Slovakia who cannot translate the word fully from her language into english, well, imprudent, well that’s the closest word to it. Well some people would find it annoying and I can tone it down if need be to be tactful. But what if someone has a vendetta or grudge against me, so they’ll just looking for an excuse to get me ex-communicated, banned, evicted or reported, so it doesn’t matter what I do regardless. That’s for them to explain of their own accord.

4/4 Intermittent competition to change “diminishing returns” into a “stop loss”

I can’t think of good examples of this, well definitely this the least

**finish this introductory paragraph later and explain wha

Example One: Talent Contest

When going to a talent contest at school when I was younger, at short notice as I’d only heard of it 10 minutes in advance on the day, the cost to enter was 50p. I had £1 so I could pay for two people when someone who was sat next to my friend’s friend, asked if I could cover her fare as nobody around had any spare change. We were already inside the assembly hall at the time and I said yes. Straight after, the girl who was sat in front of me but a tiny bit further right, she said to us that she didn’t have any fare to see the talent show either, whilst waiting for it to start. And none of us had any spare change around either!

My first response was “I’ll say I paid her“, the girl I didn’t know what her name was beforehand, not the person who asked second. Later on before the show started when a teacher was collecting the fare, luckily the one who wasn’t extremely strict and obnoxious towards me and everyone else, well she collected the £1 after I said “I’ve paid for her” to then have the girl sat adjacent to the girl without the fare, to then instantaneously say “She’s already paid”.

Once the teacher had walked off nonethewiser, I just gave her a look that was half dumbstruck and half awestruck and she just smiled. It was obvious why she didn’t say what she was going to do what she just did, as she wanted the facial expressions and microexpressions to look convincing. In hindsight, as an adult, maybe she gave a fleeting blip of a glance to one of them two when I wasn’t looking so I just didn’t notice that millisecond gesture. I WOULD HAVE NEVER OF THOUGHT OF THAT IN A MILLION YEARS!!!!! I wish I had that type of social intelligence.

Example Two: Temporarily Empty Classroom

One time in school the school teacher had to temporarily leave the classroom for 10 minutes due to some incident that happened in another classroom. I can’t remember what it was but it was nothing serious or to do with the far-away kids not following instructions. Also the teacher had forgot to bring in all the class notes that they needed to teach the lesson, the 15 pages of A4 that they’d keep to themselves. He could then seize this opportunity to get the rest of the pages whilst also going on that little detour. He only needed one copy, his copy, it wasn’t going to be distributed around to the class. We already knew most of what to do from the previous lesson earlier on in the week, as well as the notes we took before and the marking scheme that the course had.

In the ten minutes the teacher was gone, probably longer, maybe twenty minutes, which is a big difference in a one hour class, we didn’t continue doing any work and all we did was talking amongst ourselves amongst our tables and often across the table.

My best friend in the class, could hear the teacher walking back in the room after walking up the spiral staircase, which makes walking up slower, especially as the steps are relatively narrow rather than wide like some stone castle from hundreds of years ago. “Quick! Let’s make it look like we’ve been working!” she exclaimed all smiley and squeaky. The curtains were not drawn open at the beginning of the lesson and they were only drawn open after he left the class. I proceeded to close the window that someone opened in that lesson, to give the impression that we’d been working, whilst leaving the newly open curtains intact that would surprisingly reveal the sky outside, whilst also shifting closer at the group table to sit two seat-esque width units closer, to sit right next to the person right next to me. My logic (well reasoning) was that if I was sat with considerable space around me, as the teacher’s head would have to dart around the room to see everyone at once, it could then give the impression that I was sitting with space around me on purpose, so it’d be easier for me to do rather distracting things without being noticed at the intermittent moment that I was doing it. Everyone found it weird and not everyone understood the reasoning for why I exactly did that. Well my best friend did!

In the room with the teacher in it, I had to deal with five things

My best friend talking to me across the room, much more with the teacher in the room than without, to give me the cold shoulder, as it would imply to the teacher that I wasn’t working when he was out the room. She found it funny.

The prick who was sat at the same table as me, she was looking through my textbook and ring binder, looking at what colours the ink was, so she could decipher if I hadn’t handed in the homework yet, so she could embarass me and get me in trouble with everyone else watching. She knew that I have pens of different colours and on each day I change the colour for each successive subject and lesson, so that I can find what notes/work was from where easier and so I can easily predict how many blank pages I need on the subsequent pages so I can stick some print-outs in with pritt stick along with some diagrams. My best friend knew what she was trying to do along with a third or maybe over that of the other people. There was a mixture of amusement, sympathy and finding it funny, in varying degrees across people. The teacher definitely didn’t understand what she was trying to do. Well if the ink had faded or the paragraphs had prematurely ended, then the prick would know that I hadn’t done my homework as I wouldn’t of got all my classwork and notes in order, to get it done within a period of 3 or more days. Well I had other coursework for other classes as well, often projects that would take months to complete.

I had to borrow some of my pens to some other people in the class, so when I couldn’t use my faded or bent pens, I had to use one that was lacking ink until it faded so I could only write by printing ink-less dents inside the paper to be engraved until I can write over it when I get home. Everyone found it funny and instantly understood why I was doing it. Because if I got up and asked for my pen back or to get one from the school’s tub of the random assorted ones, then the teacher would assume that I hadn’t done the work for the 20 minutes he was gone. And my best friend wanted us all to look like we had worked while he was gone, so I had to be keeping up appearances to “style it out”, well, make it look natural and intentional.

I had to draw a pie graph on a blank page but unfortunately I’d borrowed my 10cm ruler to someone else in the class before the teacher walked in. If I asked them to give me my ruler back as they’d finished using it, the teacher would be wondering why I waited so long to do the pie graph instead of spending so much time talking to my best friend across, from two tables across, with the voices echoing in the art room that is sound ventilated (not sound-proofed like a music studio). Chalk dust and clasping erasers takes a long time to fall on the floor here. So I got up and got the 30cm ruler from the stationary tray to do the diagram anyway.

Later on in the lesson when we had nothing to do as the teacher had declared that all the work was done within 10-15 minutes to continue on from the last lesson, as today’s lesson was pretty much a doss around lesson, with and without him in it, well when I went to put the ruler back in the tray with him watching me, he thought that I was going to manuvere the good ruler to be hardly noticiable and covered up under the coloured pencils, while all the crappy rules that wre a rubbish brand, had no angled grip or had those annyoing chip dents on both the measuring sides, well the teacher thought that I was going to put those on the top, so the next time I got in the class for the next lesson, that I’d easily find the good ruler instead of being relengated to the crappy rulers. “Are you hiding the ruler under the pencils?” he jokingly asked. I turned around and everyone was smiling at me at the SAME time like some nursery staff who’s looking at some child who’s been eating too much chocolate cake with them denying it when it’s on their face and it made me anxious. “Tynamite’s blushing!” I got so mad.

add the conversation my best friend with me here, to make me increasingly nervous

Editorial Note:
add some sentences here, fill this in later

Example Three: Faulty Vending Machine

Another time we were in the canteen, well me and a friend and she was around her friends. There was a vending machine that had a faulty metal coil that was wobbling and bending and it looked a bit loose and sticking out a bit too much. Me and my friend decided to get the same chocolate bar so we inserted the money into the vending machine. I happened to press the alphanumerical code for the same chocolate that had the faulty spring, as I could tell by looking at it, based on the person who used it previously with us both watching, that the chocolate would definitely fall out. And it did.

My friend that I should have chose the code she chose and not the faulty code. I said that it’s obvious to see if the code has a faulty spring as it’s sticking out and moving. She said “what if no one’s looking at it”. I said it’s obvious and anyway, people would do it anyway, if we were here or not, as they wouldn’t of noticed it earlier on in the week as well.

She then proceeded to explain in a frank manner, that as we both knew that the working code spits out a chocolate for every 50p coin inserted whereas the faulty code needs two 50p coins for every chocolate spat out, if the SAME chocolate was to run out on the working side, it would then make it harder for the person on the faulty side to get the chocolate, as it would be easier for them to notice the faulty spring if the vending machine was more empty with time and that it is much easier to notice a faulty spring if only one spring has the same chocolate, than if two of them have it. “Why didn’t I think of that?” I remarked. I looked at my friend’s friend and she gave my friend a bemused look. I WOULD OF NEVER OF THOUGHT OF THAT IN A MILLION YEARS!!!!!

I then proceeded to make a funny joke by a sticker out my pencil case, writing the word “faulty” on it, then sticking it in front of the faulty coil. “You’ve got stickers in your wallet?” some complete stranger remarked from afar. “He’s got the Magic School Bus in his wallet” my friend replied.

Example Four: Some adult who floods groups chats about her crush rejecting her, tormenting us for 4 months

Away from the real world, imagine online on discord, (some chat room app), where some woman who’s 20, keeps making group chats to add people in, to be openly lamenting about how the man she fancies, that he doesn’t like her and he’s with someone else. But she kept for FOUR MONTHS adding us back in the group chat, even after we tried to console her, gave her advice and let her vent. Most of these people in the chat room were teenagers and she as an adult wasn’t being mature to be going round like a broken record, when he exercised his right to reject her. But the way she kept adding us back into the chat, after we left, got sick of trying to help and her frequent denying that she fancied him, it shocked us all that she was an adult as she was acting like a child.

Guess what I said, well 2 months in, us all tiring of this? “You must like him because that’s why you keep talking about him so much. By you bringing it up, you’re making it an issue.”

I don’t really get in any hostile or fiery arguments

Yes I really don’t and I don’t really get angry so there’s not much I can say for this heading. Maybe someone else could remind me for something here.

People can and do have conflicts and rifts in a relationship, due to differing values and communication styles

The above 4 points can cause clashes and rifts within a relationship, I think

On a fundamental level, all people have the same emotional needs but within the confines of a relationship, people have different emotional ATTAINMENT needs. Those four subheaders stated above, it might seem petty and trivial and it might seem like splitting hairs or being a paranoid hypochondriac but people do end relationships over having different values and attitudes such as this.

Maybe I should add some more here but it’s hard to think and I think some other people wrote some similar articles already. I’m not the writer to regurgiate what other people said years ago. I’m trying to have original opinions, you know!

  • add
  • further
  • reading
  • external
  • links
  • later

Collectivism and Puritanicalism could cause a conflict with me in a relationship, depending on the person

To be filled in later (for the blog).

See my answer on tellonym for now.

Briefly Going Meta

The Penultimate Point

Miniature Mental Model

Diarched Shelter


There is no conclusion because this is a rough draft. I’ll post it on my blog later. Damn this is over 7000 words. Where does the time go?

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